笑话五篇

笑话五篇

1. "I'm sorry, Madam, but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth."

“对不起，夫人，为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。”

"Twenty dollars! Why, I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!"

“20美元！为什么？不是说好只要4美元。”

"Yes, but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office."

“是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四个病人吓跑了。”

2. A: I have the perfect son.

A：我有一个很完美的儿子。

B: Does he smoke?

B：他抽烟吗？

A: No, he doesn't.

A：不抽。

B: Does he drink whiskey?

B：他喝威士忌酒吗？

A: No, he doesn't.

A：不喝。

B: Does he ever come home late?

B：他会不会很晚回家？

A: No, he doesn't.

A：不会。

B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?

B：我想你确实有一个完美儿子。那他多大了？

A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

A：下个星期三就满6个月了。

3. Tony and his father are eating dinner.

托尼正和他爸爸一起吃晚餐。

Suddenly Tony asks his father, "Dad, are flies yummy?"

突然，托尼问他的爸爸：“爸爸，苍蝇好吃吗？”

Dad frowns and says, "No, I think it's yucky. Why do you ask me this question? It's a silly question."

爸爸皱眉说：“我想不好吃。你怎么会问这个问题？这可是一个愚蠢的问题。”

But Tony says, "There was one fly in your plate."

可是托尼说：“刚才你盘子里有一只苍蝇。”

4. A man was driving to work when a truck ran a stop sign ... hit his car broadside, and knocked him cold. Passerbys pulled him from the wreck and revived him. He began a terrific struggle and had to be tranquilized by the medics. Later, when he was calm, they asked him why he struggled so. He said, "I remember the impact, then nothing. I woke up on a concrete slab in front of a huge, flashing 'Shell' sign. And somebody was standing in front of the 'S.'"

有个人开车行驶在上班的路上，一辆卡车闯红灯从侧面撞上了他的车，当时他就不省人事了。路旁的行人把他从车里拉出来并唤醒他。刚一醒过来，他就拼命的挣扎着，最后不得不用了药物才让他镇静下来。过了一会儿，他平静了，别人问他为什么要这么恐怖的挣扎，他说：“被撞之后我就什么都不知道了，当我醒过来，我发现我躺在了路边，前面是一个巨大的广告牌上面闪烁着‘壳牌，但是有个人挡住了那个‘S’。”

5. A woman walks into a pet shop and sees a cute little dog. She asks the shopkeeper, "Does your dog bite?"

一个妇人走进一家宠物店，看见一只很可爱的小狗。她问店主：“你的狗咬人吗？”

The shopkeeper says, "No, my dog does not bite."

店主说：“不，我的狗不咬人。”

The woman tries to pet the dog and the dog bites her.

于是这个妇人试着抚摸小狗，可是小狗却咬了她。

"Ouch!" She says, "I thought you said your dog does not bite!"

“哎哟！”妇人说，“你刚才还说你的狗不咬人。”

The shopkeeper replies, "That is not my dog!"

店主人回答说：“那不是我的狗。”